Monday, February 9, 2015

The Dwindling hours

Yesterday we returned from our final side trip and tomorrow, in less than 22 hours, Z will depart Colorado to return to Mongolia. These 50 days together have flown by so quickly. Just yesterday, it seems, I was standing in the airport awaiting his arrival, filled with questions, fears, doubts, and nervousness. Now the future is determined and I am sure of him, of our love, and of our future life together.

Fremont St in Vegas
Fifty days is enough time to have a hiccup or two. Or three. We've had misunderstandings and disconnects. We've had differences of opinion that are rooted in our cultural backgrounds. And we've navigated through each of them with respect and a desire to understand. And with love. I cannot imagine spending seven weeks on the road, away from my family and work and home. He's never complained and has met friend, after friend, after family member. He's been a gracious host in our home and a lovely guest in everyone else's home. Yes, these 50 days have been a gift of time together to solidify our couplehood.

As I drove to the airport last night to collect him on his return from Vegas, I was suddenly overcome with the reality that in just 31 hours (now 22) I would make the same drive to send him home. I was listening to the same song (My Heart is Open by Maroon 5 and featuring Gwen Stefani) that I played over and over the day I awaited his arrival and I suddenly felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I will miss having him in my every day. I will miss his smile, his chuckle, his happy eyes. I will miss his attentiveness and thoughtfulness. I will miss hearing him on my phone and speaking Mongolian (of which I really only recognize "za," which means alright). I will miss the smell of oranges. I will miss his lips.

After tomorrow, it's 140 days until we meet again. In UB. It was 140 days between when Zorig saw Dad and I off at the Chinggis Khan International Airport and his arrival to the US. Now we spend a second stint of 140 days apart. I suspect I may shed a tear or two tomorrow. But once we part this time, what comes next is different. It is not the building up of a possibility or a dream, but rather the seeing-it-through. I like that I have a plane ticket purchased. I like that I have a job. I have a home and a new family to get to know and love.

But before I get there......I will have a lot of packing and work to do. These next 140 days will be filled with preparations as well as time spent with family and friends. So I will cling tightly to these next 20 hours with Zorig. Then I will relish in the times I spend with all those that love and have supported me thus far....and continue to do so. And then, on a lovely afternoon in early July, I will arrive into the UB airport--a place I thought I'd never see again--and return to the arms of my love and continue this most unexpected love affair.

Enjoy your moments....your hours....wherever you are spending them. You can't rewind and repeat make them count. 

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