Sunday, June 7, 2015


The hours are what shock 595 hours I'll be in UB
Zorig once said to me (and I'm paraphrasing here) that a problem which can be solved with money, is not a problem. This statement caused me to stop and ponder. What an astute observation, I thought, and so true. We get wrapped up about money and it's one of the top causes for disagreements and tension in relationships. As I considered his words, I was prompted to ask what qualifies as a true problem.

Time, he said, was a problem. I would have to agree. Time is an illusive and shifting thing. If anything lords over the human race, it is time. 

I have had a love and hate relationship with her this year. In the fall I was anxious for December so that Zorig would arrive to me and we would finally see what there was between us. And yet, I needed all that time, those four and a half months, to grow in relationship and in trust with Z. We talked about simple things--such as food likes and dislikes--as well as big things, like hopes and dreams. Thousands of words passed back and forth between us, across the ocean, through Facebook Messenger and from phone-to-phone via international texting. Yes, that time apart was the foundation building of our relationship and our love. 

December 22nd was our target date and we prodded to it, day by day. As is always true, the hours sloughed off minute by minute, at their usual and steady rate. December 22 came, as did Zorig to me. 

Then we switched from a 4.5 month clock, to a 50-day-together clock. What a gift to have so much time together. With our foundation strong and sturdy, we had time to build the walls and rooms of our relationship. This time we had facial expressions and body language to flesh out the experience. Additional avenues to know and learn about one another. Our time together was easy and natural. We transitioned, with no real hiccups, from an online, virtual relationship to an every-day-living-togetherness. It was lovely and for me it felt like a homecoming. I knew the rooms of this house intuitively and moved easily from room to room. Our personalities, our character, and our temperaments had created an open floor plan and despite our differences in race and culture, we moved easily and freely with and around one another in this house of our making. 

But time continued on her steady march. Day by day our time together slipped away. Though we filled the days with family and friends and the state of Colorado, February 10th arrived right on schedule. I drove Z to the airport and sent him back to Ulaanbaatar. I cried all the way home. Though our plan was in place and we knew what came next, I was sad to have him apart from me. To physically not be near to him. 

Our second 4.5 month clock began its ticking down. This one felt both easier (because we were sure of the love, the relationship, our future), and harder (we knew what we were missing out on by being so far apart). And now, here we are. In 561 hours I will depart from DIA for Ulaanbaatar. I will spend over 30 hours traveling...and in approximately 595 hours I will again be back in Zorig's arms. I will embrace Enji for the first time. And I will again be with my father in the Chinggis Khaan International Airport--as he will arrive the night before I do--the place we departed from not yet one year ago and a place that neither of us every expected to return to. 

Time will no longer be an interloper for Zorig and I--we will be together for now and always from that moment. Though we will spend time apart, it will not be the long stints that this year brought to us. However, there will be other interactions with Time. She is an ever present force in our lives. Yes, from July 2nd I will begin the countdown of when my father leaves from Mongolia and I begin the counting-down to when I will see my family again. Yes, time is always here with us--an invisible third party, a silent partner, to everything we do. 

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